Adulting is Hard

“The thing with kids is, if they want to grab for the gold ring, you have to let them do it, and not say anything. If they fall off, they fall off.” -J. D. Salinger

This is it. The end. It seems like it came so quickly, but I have seen a lot of change in my life. I truly hate this book, but I love it for all the same reasons. I do think that everyone should read it. It almost gave me my own voice– it reminded me of what I believe in. I hope it did the same for you.

We’re going to start off with Mr. Antolini. I know. Gross. Regardless of how we feel about him, he is a very important part of Holden’s story. To start off on a semi-positive note, Mr. Antolini seems to be a mentor to Holden. He is very involved in his life, and they have a lot in common. Holden really seems to look up to him. Holden seemed to be very comfortable talking to Mr. Antolini, who had some good insight for him. For instance, he was very open with Holden about how he sensed that Holden was “riding for some terrible, terrible fall” (206). He goes on to explain that this fall is “a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn’t permitted to feel or hear himself hit the bottom” (207). This “fall” is assumed to be the fall into adulthood. He also tells Holden that he sees him dying nobly, but then writes down a quote from a psychoanalyst about how dying nobly is the act of an immature man. The best advice (in my opinion) that Mr. Antolini offers to Holden is as follows: “Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You’re by no means alone on that score” (208). This quote was personally reassuring for me because I, as many others, jumped into adulthood and ended up getting mad at myself over it. Anyway, onto the odd characteristics of Mr. Antolini. For starters, his wife is unattractive and way older than him. Holden mentions how they’re always affectionate in public, but not so much in the shadows. It’s obvious this is a marriage of convenience. When Holden is going to bed, Mr. Antolini makes a comment on Holden’s legs, calls him handsome, “forgets” to lend him pajamas, and accidentally wakes him up petting him, “admiring.” What?! How flitty. It makes sense though. Back then people didn’t “come out,” they just married women to cover up and had affairs the rest of their lives. How nice and convenient. Oh, I forgot to mention, Mr. Antolini called Holden a strange boy, accusing him of being the flit to the point where Holden almost believed it and was embarrassed. So now Mr. Antolini is the guy that Holden is terrified to grow up to be. An intelligent, phony flit with an old, unattractive wife. Like I said, gross.

Holden’s sickliness becomes very evident in these last chapters. Holden says that he has T. B., but his true sickness is up for debate. I have a friend that believes he has dissociative identity disorder. This makes sense given the fact that he continuously lies in order to bond with others, giving himself a whole new personality. Another disorder that is up for debate is schizophrenia. I know this sounds crazy but hear me out. Holden talks to Allie and sees graffiti everywhere (which obviously pushes his buttons). Finally, there’s bipolar disorder. Holden jumps between moods, is often drawn to cry, and, when he gets really po’d, has thoughts of violently killing people. These three disorders all feed into one thing: PTSD. Think about it. Holden saw a dude killed in his sweater, and the dude who carried him off made a move on Holden. His brother died young and he feels guilt over not being at his funeral. He talks about death a lot (from cancer to pneumonia to suicide). He wants to rescue innocents from the trials he’s faced. That’s why he doesn’t want to have responsibilities. He was introduced so young into the worst things in the world. Why should he grow up? What’s the point? More death and destruction?

The final thing that emerges in these chapters is the carrousel. Representing childhood, Holden gets Phoebe to ride it even though she thinks she’s too big. He lets her treasure her innocence a bit longer. However, he decides not to ride it himself. Not only does he come to the realization that he needs to grow up, he also realizes that he doesn’t need to keep others from it as well. Even though the cycle of childhood makes people so happy, growing up is a part of life that everyone needs to face. We can see Holden’s awakening through this quote: “The thing with kids is, if they want to grab for the gold ring, you have to let them do it, and not say anything. If they fall off, they fall off” (232). In other words, if kids want to mature, let them. If they go to fast and can’t go back, they learned their lesson.

Well, that’s it. I’ve really enjoyed this novel, and I hope you have too. Stick around for more lit information. Talk to you later:)